Grammar Errors-- Personal Narrative, Fall 2012
1. Ms. Simpson my drill team director then said “the music is on.”
2. There were no clouds so the view was very clear and nice, I was amazed by the magnitude and beauty of the city.
3. Driving through the different terrains; the thick woods in Louisiana and swamp smell in Shreveport, to the bridges that connect the lakes.
4. At the time the lyrics were practically string theory, I didn’t have a clue what they meant.
5. Shortly after this incident I came to realize something.
6. One of the ladies was eating lunch and I felt like I was sitting in her lap.
7. After calling salons after salon looking for what my mom considered to be a reasonable price I finally found someone willing to do my hair for only sixty dollars.
8. I did not accept them before, because I always thought it was wrong and looked down upon.
9. Back in my house, I stare into my empty room. Every individual mural that I had painted and replaced with bare, white walls.
10. I remember thinking to myself “Why can’t I have the best of both worlds?”
11. It has changed me in more ways than I can count and it still eats at me to this day.
12. I struggled to compose myself and as I looked up from darkness I saw a light and decided to drove towards it.
13. I judged him as a good kid, and was really looking forward to getting to know him.
14. Yes my interest for dance was growing by the minute yet I was not about to miss out on cheerleading try-outs this time.
15. Worried daily for her health and feared she would pass on.
FALL 2013 ERRORS SAMPLING
E: This however changed when my dance class was assigned to come up with our own choreography as our major grade for the semester.
C: However, this changed when my dance class was assigned to come up with our own choreography as a major grade for the semester.
E: Upon screeching into the parking lot and almost ramming the symbol I once considered joy, I got out with a fury as I pierce a hole in my my friend's eyes with mine and stomped towards him.
C: pierced/stomped
E: Then came the mascara which then applied felt like someone was tugging on my eyelashes and making them feel hard and chunky yet fun to touch.
C: which, then applied, felt
E: Very similar to the handful of personal experiences I read on the internet.
C: fragment... ..., and this was...
E: Deciding whether or not to get a perm might not seem like a magical moment but this choice did change my life.
C: moment, but
E: It was a daily struggle to deal with my wild unruly hair.
C: wild, unruly
E: I started to skip class my spring semester, I found every excuse I had to not go and to not do my work.
C: semester; I
E: Until this one unforeseen fall afternoon, where my views on life were changed forever.
C: fragment; "where" should be "when"
E: I wasn't nervous about entering high school one bit. It was requiring that all basketball players, boys and girls come to the school over summer.
C: "one bit"-- move near modifier "nervous;" vague-- what is "it?"; ,boys and girls,
E: The smell of the Thanksgiving meal being cooked and last but not least the joy of seeing Ferguson.
C: fragment, commas
E: Little did I know that what I would see on that cool summer night would impact my religious standing as well as my view on death for the rest of my life.
C: , as well as my view on death,
E: When we first walked in the mall we were looking around in all different types of stores, we began to walk around the mall some more and then I finally came across the one and only Michael Kors store.
C: run-on
E: He was one of those guys that did so many stupid things, but you couldn't help laugh at him.
C: vague, 2nd person
E: Words cannot begin to describe the utter level of fear that I felt.
C: modifier-- "level of utter fear"
E: Rickie was by far the most constant person in my life. I depended on big brother for most everything.
C: choppy; combine
E: As I continue walking, there were two large groups of people on the side of the street in the direction I was walking, causing loud commotion.
C: tense, modifier, clarity: As I continued walking, I noticed two large groups of people on the side of the street who were causing loud commotion.
E: Without thought I slowly crept in direction of the fence however, half way I sat down and cooperated as the Corinth PD made their way indoor.
C:
E: I barely made it through the day it was long and miserable.
C: run-on ;
2. There were no clouds so the view was very clear and nice, I was amazed by the magnitude and beauty of the city.
3. Driving through the different terrains; the thick woods in Louisiana and swamp smell in Shreveport, to the bridges that connect the lakes.
4. At the time the lyrics were practically string theory, I didn’t have a clue what they meant.
5. Shortly after this incident I came to realize something.
6. One of the ladies was eating lunch and I felt like I was sitting in her lap.
7. After calling salons after salon looking for what my mom considered to be a reasonable price I finally found someone willing to do my hair for only sixty dollars.
8. I did not accept them before, because I always thought it was wrong and looked down upon.
9. Back in my house, I stare into my empty room. Every individual mural that I had painted and replaced with bare, white walls.
10. I remember thinking to myself “Why can’t I have the best of both worlds?”
11. It has changed me in more ways than I can count and it still eats at me to this day.
12. I struggled to compose myself and as I looked up from darkness I saw a light and decided to drove towards it.
13. I judged him as a good kid, and was really looking forward to getting to know him.
14. Yes my interest for dance was growing by the minute yet I was not about to miss out on cheerleading try-outs this time.
15. Worried daily for her health and feared she would pass on.
FALL 2013 ERRORS SAMPLING
E: This however changed when my dance class was assigned to come up with our own choreography as our major grade for the semester.
C: However, this changed when my dance class was assigned to come up with our own choreography as a major grade for the semester.
E: Upon screeching into the parking lot and almost ramming the symbol I once considered joy, I got out with a fury as I pierce a hole in my my friend's eyes with mine and stomped towards him.
C: pierced/stomped
E: Then came the mascara which then applied felt like someone was tugging on my eyelashes and making them feel hard and chunky yet fun to touch.
C: which, then applied, felt
E: Very similar to the handful of personal experiences I read on the internet.
C: fragment... ..., and this was...
E: Deciding whether or not to get a perm might not seem like a magical moment but this choice did change my life.
C: moment, but
E: It was a daily struggle to deal with my wild unruly hair.
C: wild, unruly
E: I started to skip class my spring semester, I found every excuse I had to not go and to not do my work.
C: semester; I
E: Until this one unforeseen fall afternoon, where my views on life were changed forever.
C: fragment; "where" should be "when"
E: I wasn't nervous about entering high school one bit. It was requiring that all basketball players, boys and girls come to the school over summer.
C: "one bit"-- move near modifier "nervous;" vague-- what is "it?"; ,boys and girls,
E: The smell of the Thanksgiving meal being cooked and last but not least the joy of seeing Ferguson.
C: fragment, commas
E: Little did I know that what I would see on that cool summer night would impact my religious standing as well as my view on death for the rest of my life.
C: , as well as my view on death,
E: When we first walked in the mall we were looking around in all different types of stores, we began to walk around the mall some more and then I finally came across the one and only Michael Kors store.
C: run-on
E: He was one of those guys that did so many stupid things, but you couldn't help laugh at him.
C: vague, 2nd person
E: Words cannot begin to describe the utter level of fear that I felt.
C: modifier-- "level of utter fear"
E: Rickie was by far the most constant person in my life. I depended on big brother for most everything.
C: choppy; combine
E: As I continue walking, there were two large groups of people on the side of the street in the direction I was walking, causing loud commotion.
C: tense, modifier, clarity: As I continued walking, I noticed two large groups of people on the side of the street who were causing loud commotion.
E: Without thought I slowly crept in direction of the fence however, half way I sat down and cooperated as the Corinth PD made their way indoor.
C:
E: I barely made it through the day it was long and miserable.
C: run-on ;
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling
Tutorials
Week 3: Commas: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keZpj7PjNEo&feature=related
Semi-colons: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKikl0eO3bA
How to work quotes into your own sentences: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T8i97aaHzc&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsUnYgcv_p0
Grammar Guide
It is very important to use proper grammar. Improper grammatical usage can alter a person's perception of you, can turn others off to your perspecitves and ideas, can cause embarrassment, and can even cost you a job (in any field, not just English!). It is not expected that you have a full understanding of every single grammatical term, but it is important that you have a good, solid, basic understanding of the most major principles of grammar and mechanics, as well as which errors are made most often.
Grammar Terms:
Independent Clause: part of a unit (sentence) that CAN stand on its own. Dependent clause: part of a sentence that canNOT stand on its own; it is imbedded in the sentence and used as an adv., adj., or noun.
Example: Unpon entering the class, the student quickly sat at the first available desk.
Dep. Indep.
Fragment: Incomplete sentence; it is missing either a complete subject or predicate.
Example: A great show with a great cast.
Run-On/Fused Sentence: Two independent clauses run together without any punctuation.
Example: The movie was great however it was too long.
Comma Splice: Incorrect use of a comma to separate two independent clauses.
Example: Robert Pattison is the star of the movie, he is a really great actor.
Conjunctions: Words used to connect other words, phrases, clauses, or sentences that can also connect a dependent to an independent clause. [and, but, nor, or, for, so and yet]
Example: I had to work, so I couldn’t go to the concert.
Semicolon: Connects grammatically equal elements such as two independent clauses and separates grmmatically equal elements that contain internal commas.
Example: The movie was great; however, it was gtoo long.
Example: Some fo the main goals of the class are to learn to write clear, cohesive paragraphs; edit, proofread, and rewrite essays; demontrate a knowledge of ethical, scholarly research; and to identify and avoid grmmatical and mechanical errors.
Commas: Come before conjunctions when linking independent clauses.
Example: Van Gogh’s paintings are among the most valuable pieces of art, yet he was poor his whole life.
Follow introductory clauses: Ex. Although English is not my favorite subject, Miss Hollie’s class is very interesting.
Separate items in a series: Ex. I need to buy paper, pens, and two textbooks for this class.
Set off NONessential elements [these are words or groups of words that modify other words or groups of words but do NOT provide information that is essential in their identification]. Ex: The Basketball Diaires, Jim Carroll’s famous book, stirred up some controversy after the Columbine shootings.
Essential elements are necessary for providing information that is essential in identification; therefore, no comma is necessary. Ex. Jim Carroll’s famous book The Basketball Diaries stirred up some controversy after Columbine.
I met my friend Daryl when he was a student in my class. [Essential]
I met Daryl, my friend, when he was a student in my class. [Nonessential]
Parenthetical elements: are non-essential words and phrases. Ex. A song, for example, can be viewed as poetry.
Commas also set off geographical names and dates. Ex. August 28, 2009.
Before a quote in a sentence: Ex. When my daughter Reece was interviewed about what she likes about her teacher she said, “Mrs. Philips is kind in many ways”.
Modifiers: a word or group of words that describes, limits, or qualifies another.
Dangling Modifiers: word or phrase that does not clearly modify a word or word group in the sentence. Ex. The hotel only costs $100. The hotel costs only $100. [Put modifiers immediately before the word/words it modifies].
Dangling Participial Phrase: same as above. Ex. Driving too fast, the truck skid and flipped over.
Misplaced Modifier: a descriptive or qualifying word or phrase placed in a position that causes confusion to the reader. Ex. There is a list of the names of all the babies that were born on 11 September 2001 in the newspaper.
Apostrophe: shows ownership and forms certain plurals. Ex. Edgar Allan Poe’s short story … it’s [its] Be Careful!
1st person: “I”, “We” [personal—rarely used in scholarly writing].
2nd person: “you” [addresses readers but can offend… never used in scholarly writing].
3rd person: “one”, “it”, etc. [objective; appropriate for scholarly writing].
Ex. I believe that “Friends” is an excellent show because when you watch it, it makes you feel good about life. REVISE: “Friends” is an excellent show that can make one feel good about life.
Exercise: Correct the following.
Exact Language:
1. The health officer decided to check out the restaurant’s kitchen.
2. It was a sure thing that the President would be re-elected.
Modifiers:
3. Although not invited to speak at the conference, Blair’s address excited the audience.
4. Although hidden under the doormat, the burglar easily found the spare key.
5. Being from a small town, riding the subway was a new experience for Leslie.
6. Before donating these clothes to Goodwill, they must be cleaned.
7. Having seen the play on Broadway, the movie came as a disappointment to Madeline.
Comma Splices and Fused Sentences.
8. A protagonist is the main character in a story. An antagonist is an adversary.
9. A snowstorm can lead to dangerous driving conditions. An ice storm can result in serious accidents too.
10. An eclipse usually lasts only a few minutes. The sun, moon, and Earth do not remain in alighment but instead are in constant motion.
11. The medicine chest is no place for small children, precautions should be taken with them.
12. Some people have overstocked medicine chests others lack the bare necessities.
13. Tea can also be used to soothe bites or sunburn it should not be used on a serious burn.
14. Many of today’s adults recall drinking ginger ale to soothe an upset stomach, carbonated drinks of any kind still do the trick.
Commas:
15. Bearden founded Spiral a black artists’ group in the 1960’s.
16. Bearden’s work which has toured the country includes both urban and rural images.
17. Johnny Cash was raised, in and around, Kingsland, Arkansas.
18. While on tour, Johnny fell in love with, June Carter, and asked her several times to marry him.
19. From an early age Johnny wanted to be a singer, and practiced while he was in the army.
20. In 1999, Cash released one of his greatest albums, called, Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison, which he performed live, for the inmates.
Semi-colons:
21. Some people don’t watch television however, bad programs survive.
22. Exercise is an essential activity it keeps people healthy.
23. Evan, a single man, adopted three children. He provided them with a family atmosphere.
24. One of his children had trouble learning. Evan took him to many doctors.
Person:
25. I think that the main character Emily in Faulkner’s story “A Rose for Emily” symbolizes the idea of tradition. When you read the story, you find out that even as Emily grows older, she is unwilling or unable to change her views and attitudes to adapt to the changing world around her. In my opinion, this has devestating consequences for her.
ERRORS I advise students to revise their essay ONE SENTENCE AT A TIME for grammatical errors.
Sometimes it is difficult to find errors by editing our own papers. Sometimes it helps to see these erroneous sentences isolated in a list. Look at the sentences below; they are from student essays. Try to point out what the errors are in each sentence. This is a learning exercise.
Essay Errors:
1. The American man who does not want to deal with a baby and the girl, Jig who plans to keep her baby; both discuss about what to do with the unborn.
2. Persuading Jig to make up her mind, he explains “they just let the air in and it is perfectly natural” (147).
3. Interpreting he knows how an operation works and makes it seem like it is something not to be afraid of.
4. Conformity holds the poer to tradition. It is determines the efficacy of institution and the likelihood of its continuation.
5. The drawing of the slips of paper in this book is a tradition that has been done for generations in the small town. [topic statement]
6. With all the traditions not being correct, the village does not acknowledge this.
7. The villagers being born into this tradition, they have been victimized from their rights.
8. In the short time following the setting of the time of the story there was a shift in ideas and in morals in society people began to think more outside the box, they were questioning what they had been told and were beginning to rebel.
9. She responds by talking back and shouts, “we are decent”.
10. In the story, Tessie states, “It isn’t fair. It isn’t right” (Jackson 449). She states this after her family, and eventually herself, have been chosen to be sacrificed.
11. For the Hutchinson’s this is a normal thing to do and not out of the ordinary “Get up there, Bill, Mrs. Hutchinson said, and the people near her laughed” (446) until there the ones being chosen to be killed.
12. They seem to stick with the past “women, wearing faded house dresses and sweaters” (443) with the whole thing that the men have the lead role.
Can you find the errors?
Fall 2010, Essay 1... Errors from students' papers:
1. During the beginning of my freshman year of high school, the time when I was so unaware of who I was and what I wanted to be.
[This is a fragment, so fixing it requires significantly changing and completing the sentence.]
2. School is very important to me, I am an Education major.
[This is a comma splice because the comma is between 2 independent clauses. You can eliminate the comma and add "because" for an optimal fix.]
3. I studied hard, and attended tutoring.
[What comes after the conjunction is a dependent clause; it depends upon the rest of the sentence to make sense. Therefore, no comma is needed.]
4. On the other hand I had been working on a goal since my freshman year.
[You need commas after introductory phrases.]
5. "Hey listen, Grandma is sick again, and we aren't sure how much longer she has."
[All quotes need to be introduced in some way; they cannot be left "hanging" all alone as a sentence unto themselves.]
6. We convinced her to just hold the poor pitiful puppy with no home.
[Commas are used to separate 2 or more adjectives in a sentence.]
7. They went to the park together and Tank even got to eat people food when my mom wasn't around to stop it.
[Here the conjunction separates 2 independent clauses, which are complete sentences that can stand on their own. Therefore, a comma is needed before "and".]
8. They said if I wanted that car I would have to pay for it myself.
[2 errors: If this is a direct quote, then a comma is needed after said, as well as quotation marks around the quote. If it is not a direct quote, then the word "that" needs to come after "said". Also, anytime you write "If", you also need a "then" in the sentence.]
9. The shots were very disgusting but they were super cute colors...
[Comma before conjunction because it separates 2 independent clauses.]
10. Well, my parents wasn't happy about us not telling her, but was happy for us.
[The sentence has issues with agreement (parents is plural, her is singular-- wasn't should be weren't), and the comma needs to be eliminated because what follows the conjunction is a dependent clause. However, the second part of the sentence still needs a subject to be clear.]
11. I was willing to face any consequence, and sacrifice everything to pursue it.
[What is after the conjunction is dependent, so no comma is needed.]
12. She always had to look up at me which gave her an irresistible, helpless look.
[Commas usually come before "which" but not before "that".]
TIPS: Don't put a comma after the main clause when a dependent (subordinate) clause follows it (except for cases of extreme contrast).
Incorrect: She was late for class, because her alarm clock was broken.
Incorrect: The cat scratched at the door, while I was eating.
Correct: She was still quite upset, although she had won the Oscar. (This comma use is correct because it is an example of extreme contrast)
Comma Abuse Commas in the wrong places can break a sentence into illogical segments or confuse readers with unnecessary and unexpected pauses.
12. Don't use a comma to separate the subject from the verb.
Incorrect:An eighteen-year old in California, is now considered an adult.
Incorrect:The most important attribute of a ball player, is quick reflex actions.
13. Don't put a comma between the two verbs or verb phrases in a compound predicate.
Incorrect:We laid out our music and snacks, and began to study.
Incorrect:I turned the corner, and ran smack into a patrol car.
4. Do not use commas to set off essential elements of the sentence, such as clauses beginning with that (relative clauses). That clauses after nouns are always essential. That clauses following a verb expressing mental action are always essential.
That clauses after nouns:
The book that I borrowed from you is excellent.
The apples that fell out of the basket are bruised.
That clauses following a verb expressing mental action:
She believes that she will be able to earn an A.
He is dreaming that he can fly.
I contend that it was wrong to mislead her.
They wished that warm weather would finally arrive.
Examples of other essential elements (no commas):
Students who cheat only harm themselves.
The baby wearing a yellow jumpsuit is my niece.
The candidate who had the least money lost the election.
3. Use a pair of commas in the middle of a sentence to set off clauses, phrases, and words that are not essential to the meaning of the sentence. Use one comma before to indicate the beginning of the pause and one at the end to indicate the end of the pause.
Here are some clues to help you decide whether the sentence element is essential:
Clause: That Tuesday, which happens to be my birthday, is the only day when I am available to meet.
Phrase: This restaurant has an exciting atmosphere. The food, on the other hand, is rather bland.
Word: I appreciate your hard work. In this case, however, you seem to have over-exerted yourself.
Grammar Terms:
Independent Clause: part of a unit (sentence) that CAN stand on its own. Dependent clause: part of a sentence that canNOT stand on its own; it is imbedded in the sentence and used as an adv., adj., or noun.
Example: Unpon entering the class, the student quickly sat at the first available desk.
Dep. Indep.
Fragment: Incomplete sentence; it is missing either a complete subject or predicate.
Example: A great show with a great cast.
Run-On/Fused Sentence: Two independent clauses run together without any punctuation.
Example: The movie was great however it was too long.
Comma Splice: Incorrect use of a comma to separate two independent clauses.
Example: Robert Pattison is the star of the movie, he is a really great actor.
Conjunctions: Words used to connect other words, phrases, clauses, or sentences that can also connect a dependent to an independent clause. [and, but, nor, or, for, so and yet]
Example: I had to work, so I couldn’t go to the concert.
Semicolon: Connects grammatically equal elements such as two independent clauses and separates grmmatically equal elements that contain internal commas.
Example: The movie was great; however, it was gtoo long.
Example: Some fo the main goals of the class are to learn to write clear, cohesive paragraphs; edit, proofread, and rewrite essays; demontrate a knowledge of ethical, scholarly research; and to identify and avoid grmmatical and mechanical errors.
Commas: Come before conjunctions when linking independent clauses.
Example: Van Gogh’s paintings are among the most valuable pieces of art, yet he was poor his whole life.
Follow introductory clauses: Ex. Although English is not my favorite subject, Miss Hollie’s class is very interesting.
Separate items in a series: Ex. I need to buy paper, pens, and two textbooks for this class.
Set off NONessential elements [these are words or groups of words that modify other words or groups of words but do NOT provide information that is essential in their identification]. Ex: The Basketball Diaires, Jim Carroll’s famous book, stirred up some controversy after the Columbine shootings.
Essential elements are necessary for providing information that is essential in identification; therefore, no comma is necessary. Ex. Jim Carroll’s famous book The Basketball Diaries stirred up some controversy after Columbine.
I met my friend Daryl when he was a student in my class. [Essential]
I met Daryl, my friend, when he was a student in my class. [Nonessential]
Parenthetical elements: are non-essential words and phrases. Ex. A song, for example, can be viewed as poetry.
Commas also set off geographical names and dates. Ex. August 28, 2009.
Before a quote in a sentence: Ex. When my daughter Reece was interviewed about what she likes about her teacher she said, “Mrs. Philips is kind in many ways”.
Modifiers: a word or group of words that describes, limits, or qualifies another.
Dangling Modifiers: word or phrase that does not clearly modify a word or word group in the sentence. Ex. The hotel only costs $100. The hotel costs only $100. [Put modifiers immediately before the word/words it modifies].
Dangling Participial Phrase: same as above. Ex. Driving too fast, the truck skid and flipped over.
Misplaced Modifier: a descriptive or qualifying word or phrase placed in a position that causes confusion to the reader. Ex. There is a list of the names of all the babies that were born on 11 September 2001 in the newspaper.
Apostrophe: shows ownership and forms certain plurals. Ex. Edgar Allan Poe’s short story … it’s [its] Be Careful!
1st person: “I”, “We” [personal—rarely used in scholarly writing].
2nd person: “you” [addresses readers but can offend… never used in scholarly writing].
3rd person: “one”, “it”, etc. [objective; appropriate for scholarly writing].
Ex. I believe that “Friends” is an excellent show because when you watch it, it makes you feel good about life. REVISE: “Friends” is an excellent show that can make one feel good about life.
Exercise: Correct the following.
Exact Language:
1. The health officer decided to check out the restaurant’s kitchen.
2. It was a sure thing that the President would be re-elected.
Modifiers:
3. Although not invited to speak at the conference, Blair’s address excited the audience.
4. Although hidden under the doormat, the burglar easily found the spare key.
5. Being from a small town, riding the subway was a new experience for Leslie.
6. Before donating these clothes to Goodwill, they must be cleaned.
7. Having seen the play on Broadway, the movie came as a disappointment to Madeline.
Comma Splices and Fused Sentences.
8. A protagonist is the main character in a story. An antagonist is an adversary.
9. A snowstorm can lead to dangerous driving conditions. An ice storm can result in serious accidents too.
10. An eclipse usually lasts only a few minutes. The sun, moon, and Earth do not remain in alighment but instead are in constant motion.
11. The medicine chest is no place for small children, precautions should be taken with them.
12. Some people have overstocked medicine chests others lack the bare necessities.
13. Tea can also be used to soothe bites or sunburn it should not be used on a serious burn.
14. Many of today’s adults recall drinking ginger ale to soothe an upset stomach, carbonated drinks of any kind still do the trick.
Commas:
15. Bearden founded Spiral a black artists’ group in the 1960’s.
16. Bearden’s work which has toured the country includes both urban and rural images.
17. Johnny Cash was raised, in and around, Kingsland, Arkansas.
18. While on tour, Johnny fell in love with, June Carter, and asked her several times to marry him.
19. From an early age Johnny wanted to be a singer, and practiced while he was in the army.
20. In 1999, Cash released one of his greatest albums, called, Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison, which he performed live, for the inmates.
Semi-colons:
21. Some people don’t watch television however, bad programs survive.
22. Exercise is an essential activity it keeps people healthy.
23. Evan, a single man, adopted three children. He provided them with a family atmosphere.
24. One of his children had trouble learning. Evan took him to many doctors.
Person:
25. I think that the main character Emily in Faulkner’s story “A Rose for Emily” symbolizes the idea of tradition. When you read the story, you find out that even as Emily grows older, she is unwilling or unable to change her views and attitudes to adapt to the changing world around her. In my opinion, this has devestating consequences for her.
ERRORS I advise students to revise their essay ONE SENTENCE AT A TIME for grammatical errors.
Sometimes it is difficult to find errors by editing our own papers. Sometimes it helps to see these erroneous sentences isolated in a list. Look at the sentences below; they are from student essays. Try to point out what the errors are in each sentence. This is a learning exercise.
Essay Errors:
1. The American man who does not want to deal with a baby and the girl, Jig who plans to keep her baby; both discuss about what to do with the unborn.
2. Persuading Jig to make up her mind, he explains “they just let the air in and it is perfectly natural” (147).
3. Interpreting he knows how an operation works and makes it seem like it is something not to be afraid of.
4. Conformity holds the poer to tradition. It is determines the efficacy of institution and the likelihood of its continuation.
5. The drawing of the slips of paper in this book is a tradition that has been done for generations in the small town. [topic statement]
6. With all the traditions not being correct, the village does not acknowledge this.
7. The villagers being born into this tradition, they have been victimized from their rights.
8. In the short time following the setting of the time of the story there was a shift in ideas and in morals in society people began to think more outside the box, they were questioning what they had been told and were beginning to rebel.
9. She responds by talking back and shouts, “we are decent”.
10. In the story, Tessie states, “It isn’t fair. It isn’t right” (Jackson 449). She states this after her family, and eventually herself, have been chosen to be sacrificed.
11. For the Hutchinson’s this is a normal thing to do and not out of the ordinary “Get up there, Bill, Mrs. Hutchinson said, and the people near her laughed” (446) until there the ones being chosen to be killed.
12. They seem to stick with the past “women, wearing faded house dresses and sweaters” (443) with the whole thing that the men have the lead role.
Can you find the errors?
Fall 2010, Essay 1... Errors from students' papers:
1. During the beginning of my freshman year of high school, the time when I was so unaware of who I was and what I wanted to be.
[This is a fragment, so fixing it requires significantly changing and completing the sentence.]
2. School is very important to me, I am an Education major.
[This is a comma splice because the comma is between 2 independent clauses. You can eliminate the comma and add "because" for an optimal fix.]
3. I studied hard, and attended tutoring.
[What comes after the conjunction is a dependent clause; it depends upon the rest of the sentence to make sense. Therefore, no comma is needed.]
4. On the other hand I had been working on a goal since my freshman year.
[You need commas after introductory phrases.]
5. "Hey listen, Grandma is sick again, and we aren't sure how much longer she has."
[All quotes need to be introduced in some way; they cannot be left "hanging" all alone as a sentence unto themselves.]
6. We convinced her to just hold the poor pitiful puppy with no home.
[Commas are used to separate 2 or more adjectives in a sentence.]
7. They went to the park together and Tank even got to eat people food when my mom wasn't around to stop it.
[Here the conjunction separates 2 independent clauses, which are complete sentences that can stand on their own. Therefore, a comma is needed before "and".]
8. They said if I wanted that car I would have to pay for it myself.
[2 errors: If this is a direct quote, then a comma is needed after said, as well as quotation marks around the quote. If it is not a direct quote, then the word "that" needs to come after "said". Also, anytime you write "If", you also need a "then" in the sentence.]
9. The shots were very disgusting but they were super cute colors...
[Comma before conjunction because it separates 2 independent clauses.]
10. Well, my parents wasn't happy about us not telling her, but was happy for us.
[The sentence has issues with agreement (parents is plural, her is singular-- wasn't should be weren't), and the comma needs to be eliminated because what follows the conjunction is a dependent clause. However, the second part of the sentence still needs a subject to be clear.]
11. I was willing to face any consequence, and sacrifice everything to pursue it.
[What is after the conjunction is dependent, so no comma is needed.]
12. She always had to look up at me which gave her an irresistible, helpless look.
[Commas usually come before "which" but not before "that".]
TIPS: Don't put a comma after the main clause when a dependent (subordinate) clause follows it (except for cases of extreme contrast).
Incorrect: She was late for class, because her alarm clock was broken.
Incorrect: The cat scratched at the door, while I was eating.
Correct: She was still quite upset, although she had won the Oscar. (This comma use is correct because it is an example of extreme contrast)
Comma Abuse Commas in the wrong places can break a sentence into illogical segments or confuse readers with unnecessary and unexpected pauses.
12. Don't use a comma to separate the subject from the verb.
Incorrect:An eighteen-year old in California, is now considered an adult.
Incorrect:The most important attribute of a ball player, is quick reflex actions.
13. Don't put a comma between the two verbs or verb phrases in a compound predicate.
Incorrect:We laid out our music and snacks, and began to study.
Incorrect:I turned the corner, and ran smack into a patrol car.
4. Do not use commas to set off essential elements of the sentence, such as clauses beginning with that (relative clauses). That clauses after nouns are always essential. That clauses following a verb expressing mental action are always essential.
That clauses after nouns:
The book that I borrowed from you is excellent.
The apples that fell out of the basket are bruised.
That clauses following a verb expressing mental action:
She believes that she will be able to earn an A.
He is dreaming that he can fly.
I contend that it was wrong to mislead her.
They wished that warm weather would finally arrive.
Examples of other essential elements (no commas):
Students who cheat only harm themselves.
The baby wearing a yellow jumpsuit is my niece.
The candidate who had the least money lost the election.
3. Use a pair of commas in the middle of a sentence to set off clauses, phrases, and words that are not essential to the meaning of the sentence. Use one comma before to indicate the beginning of the pause and one at the end to indicate the end of the pause.
Here are some clues to help you decide whether the sentence element is essential:
- If you leave out the clause, phrase, or word, does the sentence still make sense?
- Does the clause, phrase, or word interrupt the flow of words in the original sentence?
- If you move the element to a different position in the sentence, does the sentence still make sense?
Clause: That Tuesday, which happens to be my birthday, is the only day when I am available to meet.
Phrase: This restaurant has an exciting atmosphere. The food, on the other hand, is rather bland.
Word: I appreciate your hard work. In this case, however, you seem to have over-exerted yourself.
Literary Terminology
There are certain literary techniques that we can use to "spice up" our writing.
Adjectives: In grammar, an adjective is a word whose main syntactic role is to qualify a noun ornoun phrase, giving more information about the object signified.Adjectives are one of the traditional eight English parts of speech. SEE CHART ABOVE.
List of adjectives:
http://www.grammaruntied.com/adjectives/adjectivelist.html
Metaphor:
A figure of speech in which an implied comparison is made between two unlike things that actually have something in common. Adjective: metaphorical.
A metaphor expresses the unfamiliar (the tenor) in terms of the familiar (the vehicle). When Neil Young sings, "Love is a rose," "rose" is the vehicle for "love," the tenor.
Types of Metaphors: absolute, burlesque,catachretic, complex, conceptual, conduit,conventional, creative, dead, extended,grammatical, mixed, ontological, personification,primary, root, structural, submerged, therapeutic,visual
For a more simplistic understanding of metaphor, click here: http://library.thinkquest.org/J0112392/metaphor.html
Simile: a figure of speech in which two unlike things are explicitlycompared, as in “she is like a rose.”
Adjectives: In grammar, an adjective is a word whose main syntactic role is to qualify a noun ornoun phrase, giving more information about the object signified.Adjectives are one of the traditional eight English parts of speech. SEE CHART ABOVE.
List of adjectives:
http://www.grammaruntied.com/adjectives/adjectivelist.html
Metaphor:
A figure of speech in which an implied comparison is made between two unlike things that actually have something in common. Adjective: metaphorical.
A metaphor expresses the unfamiliar (the tenor) in terms of the familiar (the vehicle). When Neil Young sings, "Love is a rose," "rose" is the vehicle for "love," the tenor.
Types of Metaphors: absolute, burlesque,catachretic, complex, conceptual, conduit,conventional, creative, dead, extended,grammatical, mixed, ontological, personification,primary, root, structural, submerged, therapeutic,visual
For a more simplistic understanding of metaphor, click here: http://library.thinkquest.org/J0112392/metaphor.html
Simile: a figure of speech in which two unlike things are explicitlycompared, as in “she is like a rose.”
- Writers sometimes use similes and metaphors to help create a vivid image in the reader's mind. A simile compares two things using the word like or as.Simile: My father grumbles like a bear in the mornings.A metaphor also compares two things, but it does not use the word like or as.Metaphor: My father is a bear in the mornings.
Writing Tips:
Use "ROCK" words, NOT "pebble" words! Examples:
Don't Use: Use Instead:
Get receive, acquire, fetch
Ask request, inquire, interrogate
Said remarked, mentioned, commented
See glimpse, observe, view
Think speculate, ponder, muse
Like crave, appreciate, cherish
Awesome Adjectives:
Don't Use: Use:
Good fantastic, magnificent, scrumptious
Bad atrocious, horrid, disgusting
Fun exhilarating, entertaining, humorous
Big colossal, gargantuan, immense
Small diminutive, meager, trivial
Loud cacophonous, clamoring, boistrous
Pretty gorgeous, majestic, exquisite
Ugly grotesque, hideous, repulsive
Always include metaphors-- examples:
The road is a never-ending maze.
The dragon's breath was a fiery furnace.
His footsteps were earthquakes as he stomped across the floor.
Or Similes:
as quiet as a baby's whisper, as tall as a New York skyscraper, as loud as a clamoring crowd, as slow as oozing molasses, etc.
And imagery:
The sun sparkled in the sky like a queen's diamond necklace.
The cold rain beat against my face like a million needles.
The moon shone in the ebony night sky like a lighthouse beacon.
The snowflake crystals shimmered in the frigid winter air.
And Hyperbole:
I was so scared that my bones turned to mush.
Don't Use: Use Instead:
Get receive, acquire, fetch
Ask request, inquire, interrogate
Said remarked, mentioned, commented
See glimpse, observe, view
Think speculate, ponder, muse
Like crave, appreciate, cherish
Awesome Adjectives:
Don't Use: Use:
Good fantastic, magnificent, scrumptious
Bad atrocious, horrid, disgusting
Fun exhilarating, entertaining, humorous
Big colossal, gargantuan, immense
Small diminutive, meager, trivial
Loud cacophonous, clamoring, boistrous
Pretty gorgeous, majestic, exquisite
Ugly grotesque, hideous, repulsive
Always include metaphors-- examples:
The road is a never-ending maze.
The dragon's breath was a fiery furnace.
His footsteps were earthquakes as he stomped across the floor.
Or Similes:
as quiet as a baby's whisper, as tall as a New York skyscraper, as loud as a clamoring crowd, as slow as oozing molasses, etc.
And imagery:
The sun sparkled in the sky like a queen's diamond necklace.
The cold rain beat against my face like a million needles.
The moon shone in the ebony night sky like a lighthouse beacon.
The snowflake crystals shimmered in the frigid winter air.
And Hyperbole:
I was so scared that my bones turned to mush.
Essay 1 Grammar Errors:
List of Grammatical/Mechanical Errors in Essay 1:
1. Rule: Commas follow introductory clauses.
Error: After an hour of dancing Brittney and I decided to get some fresh air.
Error: Coincidentally she was going to Dr. Wilson’s office right next door.
2. Rule: Commas come before conjunctions if what follows the conjunction is an independent clause.
Error: It’s not so bad carrying a big brick in your pocket; but being unattached to it is when you start losing your mind.
Error: I should have stuck with one of the two but I didn’t think I would accomplish much.
3. Rule: Commas are used to separate interrupting clauses in a sentence.
Error: We got married a few months after and on our honeymoon I got pregnant .
4. Rule: Unclear Pronoun—do not use a pronoun if it doesn’t have a clear reference.
Error: My grandma told me she couldn’t pay our cell phone bills, so they had to turn them off.
5. Rule: Comma Splice—do not use a comma to separate 2 independent clauses.
Error: My other schedule choice was Photography 1, I could learn how to shoot from the right angle, use certain lighting to get an effect, and many other techniques.
6. Rule: Commas are used to separate consecutive adjectives.
Error: I didn’t get the chance to eat my lunch earlier that day, so I was looking forward to a cheesy slice and some cool refreshing dessert.
7. Rule: Vague Language—avoid vague wording, such as “it” and “thing”. Be specific.
Error: The biggest thing of all, though, is that a sport is a game, not a way of life.
Error: It made me more outgoing and better with people.
8. Rule: Avoid 2nd Person (“you”) in formal essays. 1st person (“I”) is reserved for personal essays.
Error: Also you feel protected when you are a jock.
Error: I was soon tempted into something that took your mind away from the struggles.
9. Rule: Tense Shifting—do not shift tenses within a sentence, or even within a paragraph.
Error: The night went along; we keep on talking while everything else fades away.
Error: I match my eyes to her and faced the real changes in me.
Error: College scouts start talking to me after the games. I was more stunned than a criminal on the ground after being caught.
10. Rule: Use apostrophes to show possession.
Error: I return to the box with a determined look on my face, anxiously awaiting the pitchers best threat.
11. Homonyms: These are words that sound alike but may have different spellings. Be sure to use the correct word.
Error: Black hair is so much harder to manage then any other ethnicity.
12. Rule: Avoid fusing your sentences. A run-on occurs when two or more independent clauses run together without any punctuation or conjunction.
Error: Running at Tarleton State was my final decision with that being said I moved to Stephenville to excel in my running at a college level.
Error: I always wondered why he was so nervous about talking to me I was just another girl.
13. Rule: Avoid fragments, which are incomplete sentences. A sentence fragment is an incomplete sentence. Some fragments are incomplete because they lack either a subject or a verb, or both. The fragments that most students have trouble with, however, are dependent clauses—they have a subject and a verb, so they look like complete sentences, but they don't express a complete thought. They're called "dependent" because they can't stand on their own (just like some people you might know who are SO dependent!). Look at these dependent clauses. They're just begging for more information to make the thoughts complete.
Error: All the calls and meetings with scouts, also the letters I got delivered during classes every other day.
Error: Hearing from all the coaches and staff with all the praise of them really wanting me to attend their program.
Error: Excited about getting to college and being able to play my favorite sport for at least another four years.
Error: As if I were a sick person in a bed, dying.
1. Rule: Commas follow introductory clauses.
Error: After an hour of dancing Brittney and I decided to get some fresh air.
Error: Coincidentally she was going to Dr. Wilson’s office right next door.
2. Rule: Commas come before conjunctions if what follows the conjunction is an independent clause.
Error: It’s not so bad carrying a big brick in your pocket; but being unattached to it is when you start losing your mind.
Error: I should have stuck with one of the two but I didn’t think I would accomplish much.
3. Rule: Commas are used to separate interrupting clauses in a sentence.
Error: We got married a few months after and on our honeymoon I got pregnant .
4. Rule: Unclear Pronoun—do not use a pronoun if it doesn’t have a clear reference.
Error: My grandma told me she couldn’t pay our cell phone bills, so they had to turn them off.
5. Rule: Comma Splice—do not use a comma to separate 2 independent clauses.
Error: My other schedule choice was Photography 1, I could learn how to shoot from the right angle, use certain lighting to get an effect, and many other techniques.
6. Rule: Commas are used to separate consecutive adjectives.
Error: I didn’t get the chance to eat my lunch earlier that day, so I was looking forward to a cheesy slice and some cool refreshing dessert.
7. Rule: Vague Language—avoid vague wording, such as “it” and “thing”. Be specific.
Error: The biggest thing of all, though, is that a sport is a game, not a way of life.
Error: It made me more outgoing and better with people.
8. Rule: Avoid 2nd Person (“you”) in formal essays. 1st person (“I”) is reserved for personal essays.
Error: Also you feel protected when you are a jock.
Error: I was soon tempted into something that took your mind away from the struggles.
9. Rule: Tense Shifting—do not shift tenses within a sentence, or even within a paragraph.
Error: The night went along; we keep on talking while everything else fades away.
Error: I match my eyes to her and faced the real changes in me.
Error: College scouts start talking to me after the games. I was more stunned than a criminal on the ground after being caught.
10. Rule: Use apostrophes to show possession.
Error: I return to the box with a determined look on my face, anxiously awaiting the pitchers best threat.
11. Homonyms: These are words that sound alike but may have different spellings. Be sure to use the correct word.
Error: Black hair is so much harder to manage then any other ethnicity.
12. Rule: Avoid fusing your sentences. A run-on occurs when two or more independent clauses run together without any punctuation or conjunction.
Error: Running at Tarleton State was my final decision with that being said I moved to Stephenville to excel in my running at a college level.
Error: I always wondered why he was so nervous about talking to me I was just another girl.
13. Rule: Avoid fragments, which are incomplete sentences. A sentence fragment is an incomplete sentence. Some fragments are incomplete because they lack either a subject or a verb, or both. The fragments that most students have trouble with, however, are dependent clauses—they have a subject and a verb, so they look like complete sentences, but they don't express a complete thought. They're called "dependent" because they can't stand on their own (just like some people you might know who are SO dependent!). Look at these dependent clauses. They're just begging for more information to make the thoughts complete.
Error: All the calls and meetings with scouts, also the letters I got delivered during classes every other day.
Error: Hearing from all the coaches and staff with all the praise of them really wanting me to attend their program.
Error: Excited about getting to college and being able to play my favorite sport for at least another four years.
Error: As if I were a sick person in a bed, dying.
The Colon
The Colon
Use a colon [ : ] before a list or an explanation that is preceded by a clause that can stand by itself. Think of the colon as a gate, inviting one to go on:
We will often use a colon to separate an independent clause from a quotation (often of a rather formal nature) that the clause introduces:
The acting director often used her favorite quotation from Shakespeare's Tempest: "We are such stuff as dreams are made on; and our little life is rounded with a sleep."With today's sophisticated word-processing programs (which know how much space to put after punctuation marks), we insert only one space (hit the space-bar only once) after a colon.
It might be useful to say, also, when we don't use a colon. Remember that the clause that precedes the mark (where you're considering a colon) ought to be able to stand on its own as an independent clause. Its purpose might be strictly to introduce the clause that follows, so it might feel rather incomplete by itself, but grammatically it will have both a subject and a predicate. In other words, we would not use a colon in situations like the following:
One of the most frequently asked questions about colons is whether we should begin an independent clause that comes after a colon with a capital letter. If the independent clause coming after the colon is a formal quote, begin that quoted language with a capital letter.
Whitehead had this to say about writing style: "Style is the ultimate morality of mind."If the explanatory statement coming after a colon consists of more than one sentence, begin the independent clause immediately after the colon with a capital letter:
There were two reasons for a drop in attendance at NBA games this season: First, there was no superstar to take the place of Michael Jordan. Second, fans were disillusioned about the misbehavior of several prominent players.If the introductory phrase preceding the colon is very brief and the clause following the colon represents the real business of the sentence, begin the clause after the colon with a capital letter:
Remember: Many of the prominent families of this New England state were slaveholders prior to 1850.If the function of the introductory clause is simply to introduce, and the function of the second clause (following the colon) is to express a rule, begin that second clause with a capital:
Let us not forget this point: Appositive phrases have an entirely different function than participial phrases and must not be regarded as dangling modifiers.There is some disagreement among writing reference manuals about when you should capitalize an independent clause following a colon. Most of the manuals advise that when you have more than one sentence in your explanation or when your sentence(s) is a formal quotation, a capital is a good idea. The NYPL Writer's Guide urges consistency within a document; theChicago Manual of Style says you may begin an independent clause with a lowercase letter unless it's one of those two things (a quotation or more than one sentence). The APA Publication Manual is the most extreme: it advises us to always capitalize an independent clause following a colon. The advice given above is consistent with the Gregg Reference Manual.
We also use a colon after a salutation in a business letter . . .
Dear Senator Dodd:
It has come to our attention that . . . . .. . . and when we designate the speaker within a play or in court testimony:
BIFF: He had the wrong dreams. All, all, wrong.
HAPPY (almost ready to fight Biff): Don't say that!
BIFF: He never knew who he was.
Use a colon [ : ] before a list or an explanation that is preceded by a clause that can stand by itself. Think of the colon as a gate, inviting one to go on:
- There is only one thing left to do now: confess while you still have time.
We will often use a colon to separate an independent clause from a quotation (often of a rather formal nature) that the clause introduces:
The acting director often used her favorite quotation from Shakespeare's Tempest: "We are such stuff as dreams are made on; and our little life is rounded with a sleep."With today's sophisticated word-processing programs (which know how much space to put after punctuation marks), we insert only one space (hit the space-bar only once) after a colon.
It might be useful to say, also, when we don't use a colon. Remember that the clause that precedes the mark (where you're considering a colon) ought to be able to stand on its own as an independent clause. Its purpose might be strictly to introduce the clause that follows, so it might feel rather incomplete by itself, but grammatically it will have both a subject and a predicate. In other words, we would not use a colon in situations like the following:
- Her recipe for gunpowder included saltpeter, dry oatmeal, and ground-up charcoal briquets. (no colon after "included")
- His favorite breakfast cereals were Rice Krispies, Cheerios, and Wheaties. (no colon after "were")
- Her usual advice, I remember, was "Keep your head up as you push the ball up the court." (no colon after "was")
One of the most frequently asked questions about colons is whether we should begin an independent clause that comes after a colon with a capital letter. If the independent clause coming after the colon is a formal quote, begin that quoted language with a capital letter.
Whitehead had this to say about writing style: "Style is the ultimate morality of mind."If the explanatory statement coming after a colon consists of more than one sentence, begin the independent clause immediately after the colon with a capital letter:
There were two reasons for a drop in attendance at NBA games this season: First, there was no superstar to take the place of Michael Jordan. Second, fans were disillusioned about the misbehavior of several prominent players.If the introductory phrase preceding the colon is very brief and the clause following the colon represents the real business of the sentence, begin the clause after the colon with a capital letter:
Remember: Many of the prominent families of this New England state were slaveholders prior to 1850.If the function of the introductory clause is simply to introduce, and the function of the second clause (following the colon) is to express a rule, begin that second clause with a capital:
Let us not forget this point: Appositive phrases have an entirely different function than participial phrases and must not be regarded as dangling modifiers.There is some disagreement among writing reference manuals about when you should capitalize an independent clause following a colon. Most of the manuals advise that when you have more than one sentence in your explanation or when your sentence(s) is a formal quotation, a capital is a good idea. The NYPL Writer's Guide urges consistency within a document; theChicago Manual of Style says you may begin an independent clause with a lowercase letter unless it's one of those two things (a quotation or more than one sentence). The APA Publication Manual is the most extreme: it advises us to always capitalize an independent clause following a colon. The advice given above is consistent with the Gregg Reference Manual.
We also use a colon after a salutation in a business letter . . .
Dear Senator Dodd:
It has come to our attention that . . . . .. . . and when we designate the speaker within a play or in court testimony:
BIFF: He had the wrong dreams. All, all, wrong.
HAPPY (almost ready to fight Biff): Don't say that!
BIFF: He never knew who he was.